i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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