take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
