I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
The beer is more important than you right now.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Randomize
