this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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