last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
