Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I'm like, not good at living.
Randomize
