He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
