My boss' voice literally gives me gas
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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