Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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