Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
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