i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
