I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
he told me I talked like a deaf person
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Someone came in the potted fern
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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