Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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