just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
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