I want to have your abortion
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
