She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize