Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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