I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
