Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Randomize
