Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize