I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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