apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
