I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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