i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
