He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
He has the fingertips of a God
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
