You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize