i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
