either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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