I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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