There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
