What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
