she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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