are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
