I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
