just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
