We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
