what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
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