ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
