but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
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