you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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