C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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