Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize
