Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Randomize
