Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Randomize
