her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Randomize
