I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
