I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Randomize
