How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
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