I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
