paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
