Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
you win again, gameday.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize