So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize