How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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