Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
