thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
My penis needs a shock collar
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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