weddingsv make me drug and hornr
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Randomize
