i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
