I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Life is so much better after having sex.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
