She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
